We can all agree that Christmas is a time of great joy. It's a time of giving and love and snow and presents and food and well... a lot of great stuff. However there is a plight upon this, the most Holy of commercial Holidays:
THE ALTERNATIVE CHRISTMAS JUMPER.
These things are a plight upon the world and must be stopped. For future reference here is a list of the worst offenders so you can recognise the enemy when you see them. The appropriate course of action normally includes burning.
10: Didn't even have the good graces to write "Sleigher" on it. Heathens.
9: If there was ever a jumper to punch your Nan in, it's probably this one.
8: Christmas; the season of bestiality and matricide.
7: The album is a classic, this is just tragic.
6: Nothing says Christmas like animal sodomy.
5: But it...
4: ...seems to be...
3: ...a theme.
2: There's going to be a new Christmas movie tradition started in my house this year.
1: It really is that simple. Whoever thought of this should be forced to wear every single one of these things all at once in atonement to my eyes.
