24 December 2014

THE WORST ALTERNATIVE CHRISTMAS JUMPERS EVER

We can all agree that Christmas is a time of great joy. It's a time of giving and love and snow and presents and food and well... a lot of great stuff. However there is a plight upon this, the most Holy of commercial Holidays:

THE ALTERNATIVE CHRISTMAS JUMPER.


These things are a plight upon the world and must be stopped. For future reference here is a list of the worst offenders so you can recognise the enemy when you see them. The appropriate course of action normally includes burning. 

10: Didn't even have the good graces to write "Sleigher" on it. Heathens.



9: If there was ever a jumper to punch your Nan in, it's probably this one.


8: Christmas; the season of bestiality and matricide. 


7: The album is a classic, this is just tragic. 


6: Nothing says Christmas like animal sodomy.


5: But it...

4: ...seems to be...


3: ...a theme.

2: There's going to be a new Christmas movie tradition started in my house this year. 


1: It really is that simple. Whoever thought of this should be forced to wear every single one of these things all at once in atonement to my eyes.